MONDAY, 4.21.03

I've made two trips down to NYC in two weekends - one for a gig with Shelley and one to hang out with some friends who are moving there soon and came to visit. Even though I grew up with NYC as a huge part of my life, returning as an adult I almost feel more like a kid. Wide-eyed, always impressed with its vastness, its diversity, curious and never feeling like I have enough time to do everything I want. As a kid I thought every city was like NYC. As an adult I realize no city is.

I have many old friends who live in the city, including my brother. So somehow even though my viewpoint as an adult seeing NYC is so different from when I was a kid, it has a really familiar feeling to it. I am somewhat my old self there and my new self, too. My friends and brother have changed (and evolved) as well...I guess NYC has for me in many similar ways.

As a kid I saw more of NYC by daylight - as an adult, by night. Sometimes all night. Coming from Boston, it is so special to see a city at dawn, because nothing here is open all night. I also love sharing my adult NYC with my adult friends - friends I didn't have growing up.

Every time I leave NYC I get a little sad. Not because I'm going back to Boston, but I'm going away from NYC. The pulse of NYC agrees with me so much. I don't know if I could live there, but I know whenever I visit it feels right. I feel myself there. I feel the best of myself there.